And so on and so on and so on

the last edits made before the project was complete
the email i sent that started a relationship
the email i sent that ended a relationship
the longitude and latitude of where we made camp one night
and do so on and so on and so on

the monthly ritual of filling a feed, check ✅
every task saved on kanban boards of yesteryear
remind me
where i was when i did it
how it felt
every time
closed, crunched, frustrating
fun, exploratory, beautiful

my documentation is an attempt in preservation
the decisions that led to the moments that hurt most
the patterns that shaped a season of life
all so infinitely precious, in their infinite complexity
the infinite minutiae turning and turning
starting and ending and transforming
becoming and becoming and becoming
always always always
and so on and so on and so on

life, so full and rich and endless in every moment
each instant a ripe red peach, bursting with flavor
each note, each texture, each sense to savor

a peach is made into jam
a jam is made to be eaten
a peach is now a part of me
and so on and so on and so on

and yet i am filled with grief in knowing
how i knew those moments
how each moment had to end
and now their memory
is all i have to remember them by

and so will the moments blend together
and so will the blends all bleed together
and so will it all end, just as every little moment once did
and so on and so on and so on

so fragile and fleeting
so raw, full, and all-encompassing
so small and insignificant
so all-that-is

how can i grieve
when there is so much to love
how can i love
when there is so much to grieve

how can i remember
when there is so much to be
how can i be
when there is so much to remember

and so on and so on and so on